Funny Inspirational Quotes

These funny inspirational quotes are here for your entertainment. Hopefully you will be both amused, and if we're lucky, a bit inspired by them.

1. “I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it."
   -Jonathan Winters
   
   

2. "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
   -Steven Wright
   
   

3. "I would prefer to be attacked occasionally and make money then to sit against the wall and only talk to other wallflowers."
   -Ben Mack
   Think Two Products Ahead
   
   

4. "If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."
   -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
   
   

5. "When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
   -Albert Einstein
   
   

6. "We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience."
   -George Bernard Shaw
   
   

7. "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
   -Mark Twain